What Do I Do?

Love is so weird. You never know if you’re falling for someone or if you truly love them. Some people you know for sure you love them like your mom or dad or sibling or best friend. Because it’s your second nature to love them. But boys… well they’re different.

We’ve all had that one boy that we’ve liked forever. He’s cute and nice and you’ve known him your whole life. But he gets with your best friend right when you think you might have just the slightest chance so you know you’re done. You’re forced to move on even though you know you never can.

So there’s another boy. One you think is really annoying at the start. And then he kinda wears on you and after a month of talking and hanging out, you become good friends. And then he breaks up with his girlfriend right when you’re at the peak of liking him. And it turns out you’re the reason he broke up with her. And he likes you and he stole your first kiss and everything’s perfect. For awhile.

Thing’s get more physical and he pushes too much. You don’t want to have sex with him but it feels like you have to. Your best friend hates him and soon after, you start to feel like you do too. You’re done with him and you wish things had never started. But he likes you more than ever. Constantly wanting to see you and hang out which just means touch you. But you don’t want to be touched. You need your space.

But then there are the days when he calls you beautiful and actually makes you feel beautiful. And your stomach flips when you see his name on your screen and you want to kiss him and be near him. And you think that you could be serious with him.

But then he asks to see something. And you start to wonder if he likes the real you and not just what’s between your legs. You feel used after you get home from hanging out because you didn’t actually hang out, he just asked for sex which is the one thing you always say no to. Because it’s yours and you don’t want to give that up just for anyone. Especially someone like this. Annoying and you never want to talk to him at school cause you’re afraid of what people will say and think and you’re embarrassed that you’re even associated with him. But he says you’re his and it’s too late now. You’re stuck and you can’t get out cause you’re afraid of hurting people.

And now you’re back to square one. Do I like him? You know you don’t love him because you’re a teenager and you just don’t feel it. No fireworks no nervous knees. He’s just a boy you hang out with and kiss and cuddle with. But you want so bad to like him as much as he likes you. But it’s just not gonna happen. So you ask yourself:

What do I do?

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